Pins and Needles

road-trip-checklistThe day before a trip is always a little nerve wracking.  There are so many little things to accomplish.  Taking the dog to Nana’s.  Squaring away the budget.  Packing.  Calculating when to leave.  Cleaning the house (it feels good to come home to a clean house).  Buying snacks for the ride.  Filling prescriptions.  Rotating the tires.  Cleaning the car.  Changing the oil.

Fortunately, my wife is on summer vacation.  She can do a lot of these things.  The money is my largest contribution.  I get the pleasure of saying “Babe, it’s all good.  We have all we need to have a great trip.  No worries.”   And it’s true.  I was stressed about it because it looked like we might come up short, but then I figured out that I had double expensed a sizable amount of money in May.  That was a relief and maybe even a blessing.  It made us more frugal than we would have been.

The other day I got this message from my wife:

“WHY AM I FREAKING OUT”

My response wasn’t what she wanted.

“There are many reasons to freak out.”

She responded, “Many reasons. Thanks.”

My response comes from a place of deep experience.   “But we need to turn that over to God.”

I have a history of freaking out over trips and money, but this time it is different.  My struggles of late have taught me that God is watching over us, and God has a far better plan for me and my family than I do.  Turning it over means that now that I’ve done everything I need to do, I let go of the worries and anxieties and expectations. And become open to the possibility that wonderful things will happen.

Trips are organic events.  No matter how hard you plan (and you can plan the hell out of a Disney trip), you cannot control the entire experience.  Things happen;  wonderful things and disappointing things.  If I just let it happen, let God steer the ship, then I believe that there will be more wonderful things than disappointing.  And what is disappointment derived from?  Expectations.  If I expect to ride that special ride and it doesn’t happen, then I will be disappointed.  Things have a way of working out.  What’s really important is that I’m with Alli, Chris, and Jennifer.  That is something that I can count on.

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